By Donna St. George | washingtonpost.com | January 14, 2015
It was a one-mile walk home from a Silver Spring park on Georgia Avenue on a Saturday
afternoon. But what the parents saw as a moment of independence for their 10-year old
son and 6-year old daughter, they say authorities viewed much differently.
Danielle and Alexander Meitiv say they are being investigated for neglect for the Dec. 20
trek — in a case they say reflects a clash of ideas about how safe the world is and whether
parents are free to make their own choices about raising their children.
“We wouldn’t have let them do it if we didn’t think they were ready for it,” Danielle said.
She said her son and daughter have previously paired up for walks around the block, to a
nearby 7Eleven and to a library about three-quarters of a mile away. “They have proven
they are responsible,” she said. “They’ve developed these skills.”
The Meitivs say they believe in “free-range” parenting, a movement that has been a
counterpoint to the hyper- vigilance of “helicopter” parenting, with the idea that children
learn self-reliance by being allowed to progressively test limits, make choices and venture
out in the world.
“The world is actually even safer than when I was a child, and I just want to give them the
same freedom and independence that I had — basically an old-fashioned childhood,” she
said. “I think it’s absolutely critical for their development — to learn responsibility, to
experience the world, to gain confidence and competency.”
On Dec.20, Alexander agreed to let the children, Rafi and Dvora, walk from Woodside
Park to their home, a mile south, in an area the family says the children know well.
The children made it about halfway.
Police picked up the children near the Discovery building, the family said, after someone
reported seeing them.
Police on Wednesday did not immediately have information on the case. But a
spokeswoman said that when concerns are reported, “we have a responsibility as part of
our duty to check on people’s welfare.”
The Meitivs say their son told police that he and his sister were not doing anything illegal
and are allowed to walk. Usually, their mother said, the children carry a laminated card
with parent contact information that says: “I am not lost. I am a freerange kid.” The kids
didn’t have the card that day.
Danielle said she and her husband give parenting a lot of thought.
“Parenthood is an exercise in risk management,” she said. “Every day, we decide: Are we
going to let our kids play football? Are we going to let them do a sleepover? Are we going
to let them climb a tree? We’re not saying parents should abandon all caution. We’re
saying parents should pay attention to risks that are dangerous and likely to happen.”
She added: “Abductions are extremely rare. Car accidents are not. The number one cause
of death for children of their age is a car accident.”
Danielle is a climate-science consultant, and Alexander is a physicist at the National
Institutes of Health.
Alexander said he had a tense time with police on Dec. 20 when officers returned his
children, asked for his identification and told him about the dangers of the world.
The more lasting issue has been with Montgomery County Child Protective Services, he
said, which showed up a couple of hours after the police left.
Mary Anderson, a spokeswoman for CPS, said she could not comment on cases but that
neglect investigations typically focus on questions of whether there has been a failure to
provide proper care and supervision.
In such investigations, she said, CPS may look for guidance to a state law about leaving
children unattended, which says children younger than 8 must be left with a reliable
person who is at least 13-years old. The law covers dwellings, enclosures and vehicles.
The Meitivs say that on Dec. 20, a CPS worker required Alexander to sign a safety plan
pledging he would not leave his children unsupervised until the following Monday, when
CPS would follow up. At first he refused, saying he needed to talk to a lawyer, his wife
said, but changed his mind when he was told his children would be removed if he did not
comply.
Following the holidays, the family said, CPS called again, saying the agency needed to
inquire further and visit the family’s home. Danielle said she resisted.
“It seemed such a huge violation of privacy to examine my house because my kids were
walking home,” she said.
This week, a CPS social worker showed up at her door, she said. She did not let him in.
She said she was stunned to later learn from the principal that her children were
interviewed at school.
The family has a meeting set for next week at CPS offices in Rockville.
“I think what CPS considered neglect, we felt was an essential part of growing up and
maturing,” Alexander said. “We feel we’re being bullied into a point of view about childrearing
that we strongly disagree with.”
Magda Jean-Louis contributed to this report.
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